The “Family” Bathroom

5 Nov

When you are potty training a toddler your mind switches into some crazed survival skill. Just like where to find the best beer on tap, you start scoping out public bathrooms. Rating them on cleanliness, amounts of toilet paper, location, and so on. This is not a concept just for parents, I remember a field trip to San Francisco where the teacher insisted the girls take a piss at the golden Neiman Marcus women’s bathroom in Union Square.

Now for some new parents you get a small taste of this process when it comes to changing tables. Something that you would have never thought about 9 months before now becomes a scarlet letter on the face of every restaurant and old haunt. “What do you mean you don’t have a changing table?” These establishments become forever scorned by parents, who never return.  And for those without children: No you cannot just change a baby anywhere, that’s nasty.

DAY242-1

Now that's right

This brings me to my favorite topic: Family Bathrooms. Yes there was some great engineer or architect, it had to have been someone with “potty vision,” who thought of it all.  Place a big toilet and a little toilet next to each other, along with a changing table in the same room, add in ample room for a massive stroller – making way for a single family to hog a whole entire space. It is great!

While I no longer dash off to every public restroom dragging along a girl with pigtails screaming she is going to pee on herself, I do seek out the “Family Restrooms” at malls. They kick ass. If it is just you, there is no waiting in line and able space to stash all of your goodies. But if you are hauling a “double-wide” and three other kids, and a life partner – go ahead, you’ll fit.

Recommended Family Bathrooms

1) Hilltop Mall in Richmond: Sure there is nothing to buy at the mall, but there sure is one clean bathroom. We sometimes go there just to take a piss and get cookies.

2) Old Navy: Almost every Old Navy has a space for you and your 8 kids. Come on Kate, you know you like shopping with the “little people”!

3) Theme Parks: Ask the security guards, it’s like gaining entry into Bungalow 8.

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