Stick and Stones – When Children Hurt Your Feelings

18 Jan

I am a tough chick – and yes I am calling myself a chick, I also have been known to refer to myself as a feisty broad. I can bark orders at a room full of people, cuss out a grown man, and even stand up to my family time to time. I am like a duck most of the time, insults, angry letters, even snide comments roll of my back. Unless … it is coming from a four year old. 

Kids seem to have the ability to tap into my core emotional issues in one sentence. “You’re fat.” “Why are you wearing that?” “Wow, you are old.” “You don’t care about me.” and the classic “I hate you.” Is this something that they teach in preschool? Or do older kids pull the younger ones aside and give lessons on how to make Mommy or Daddy cry.

Psychologists and parenting experts say that the best advise is to not get angry, but explain to children that what they say is hurtful. Don’t try to scare the 

Imagechild or shame them about their behavior, but let them learn from the mistake and discover how to express their frustration in a more loving way. Those experts are full of it. It’s hard to not get pissed off when you look like this.

When kids stay stuff like that it is like your mother asking you if you are really sure you chose the right college, job, or date. It rips open any old wound, and just for shits and giggles there is a cute toddler standing over the wound with a freshly cut lemon. 

The other night my son, who is normally a loving cuddle bear though has been known to turn on a full moon, told me he wished I was dead. WTF?!!?? He is four. 

Now let me explain, for the past month I had thought I had a brain tumor – a normal reaction when your headache won’t go away, right? While I never told my kids about my impending death, which for some reason was corrected by a doctor’s visit and prescription – but that is another post on hypochondria, the kid knew right where to throw the verbal punch. 

Okay BabyCenter how do you respond to this one? Oh, you don’t have a expert psychologist on staff to tell you how to handle a preschooler telling you that they wish you were dead??? THANKS! 

Well this is how a parent who can’t find the answer online reacts: I lost my shit! I ended up looking like that woman above. Hey and here is the miracle, if you want your kids to clean up their act start crying in front of them – but not all the time then it looses all power and you also might have depression. They will say they are sorry super fast. It also helps to have a partner to back you up, and yell “see what you did to mommy.” 

Nothing like a little guilt to make it all better. Now if you don’t mind I am going into my room, turning out the lights and blasting The Smiths

 

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