Tooth Fairy’s Digging a Financial Hole

3 Sep

The Tooth Fairy has finally given into keeping up with Jones. 

This should have been the headline last week when Visa, Inc. announced the update to their app, which found that the price of a tooth for most parents has soared to $4 a pop. With the announcement, it seamed like every news organization in the country from Associated Press to KQED had to profile some parents who gave examples of what they pay their kid when the loose a tooth. It all stems from this AP story where parents chime in with how much they are dolling out, ending with a mother actually admitting to shelling out a $100 bucks. And they are all doing it because some other parent chimed in and said they were giving their kid a certain amount. Never to be outdone, parents need the feel to top whatever price was suggested.


Dwayne Johnson in wings as the tooth fairy.

What is going on here? Isn’t there enough pressure to be a super parent without having to keep up with the Jones when it comes to your children’s teeth? Being the Tooth Fairy is a very intimate thing. It is a treasured rite of parenthood. I understand getting a gauge of what to put under your kid’s pillow when their first tooth gets wiggly, but you have check yourself on how high are you going to set that bar. 

I am the type of parent to keep the expectations low, so when I do decide to go bigger my kids take note. Like adding a piñata to a party. If you start off your kids birthday’s with a piñata, they and your other guests will expect one…EVERY FRIGGIN’ YEAR. So just like your kids party, placing $20 bucks under your kids pillow when they loose a tooth is only creating the expectation that the Tooth Fairy is going to crack open his/her wallet each time and put a twenty there. 

Can you afford this pressure? I know the app/articles said that the average price of a tooth is $4, but really do you have ones lying around your house like that? 

I have two kids and have learned over the years that it is good to explain magical creatures with a map. Listen kids we live in a county where the Tooth Fairy can only give a certain amount depending on what tooth is under the pillow. So what your buddies tell you on the school yard is not what you are going to get because they have a different zip code/apartment number/county address (fill in the blank). 

Often the Tooth Fairy hasn’t even left money, but things found around the house since her ATM card was stolen or she didn’t have time to go the bank or the neighbors didn’t have change for a $20. 

If the Tooth Fairy had to keep up with whatever rate the kid was getting up the street she would go broke. So media companies when you want to write a story about how much the price of a tooth is why don’t you do the math. Twenty teeth at $4 a pop, that’s $80, add in the now estimated $241,081 to raise a child (without college tuition) and I think the price is too high. 

Give your kid what ever loose change you can find in house and call it a night, they won’t judge you for it. The Tooth Fairy on the other-hand will be forever a cheap bastard. 


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