Mommy is this safe for Dolphins?

Kids will say the darnedest things, especially kids who can’t read.

My boy is just dabbling into the world of reading and since much of reading is recognizing shapes and making your brain associate them with sounds, I have started recalling what his “reading” was like before. Since words looked like a bunch of scribbles on a piece of paper he latched on to symbols that were in his everyday life.

Here is a small taste of toddler thinking vs. the hard work of graphic designers and logo creators. Sorry logo designers you need to work harder, tap into that 3-year-old brain I know you are just trying to shine through!

Exhibit A: The Dolphin Safe Logo

photo courtesy of Logo.net

This kid though that his can of tuna was telling him that the tuna salad sandwich he was about to eat was safe for dolphins to eat also. Somewhere under the sea he imagined a porpoise dinning on a delicious tuna on rye. Mmmmm….sandwich

Exhibit B: Poison

image courtesy of clker.com

This doesn’t mean stay away, this substance might kill you. No this symbol lets you know that pirates love this stuff. Sure they love to wash their clothing, scrub the floors, and don’t forget spray stuff on things. “Mommy, they are very clean but they won’t change diapers!” Luckily for me I worked hard at getting the real message across and it did stick. The kid won’t be adding a sprinkle of Ajax to his pasta.

Exhibit C: BTHA Safety Lion (if this one doesn’t ring a bell next time when you are at the store check out the back of the box of that toy you are about to get your kid, if you don’t see it you might want to not purchase that Ninja Turtle, because it most surely did come into contact with some radioactive ooze)

Official logo of the British Toy & Hobby Association, which means your kid’s toy was not made in a sweatshop and most likely not covered in lead paint.

While most kids who even read aren’t going to get this logo, my kid called it the red lion picture but was highly confused when he would open up toys and there was no red lion to be found in the box. Like it was some sort of indication that there was an extra hidden prize, making all toy boxes in to a Cracker Jack hunt. Cue meltdown when the red lion never appears.

Exhibit D: Not Tested on Animals

Are you checking your shampoo for this symbol right now?

Now I know you think that most kids won’t even look at this, but when you spend hours (yes, hours) in the bathtub anything with in reach will be turned into a toy. “Why is there a bunny on this?” “Do bunnies take baths?” “Can our bunny take a bath?” “Do bunnies wear lotion?” This image was just a cue to ask a crazy amount of questions and pester your mom. Originally it was about bunnies, but it always morphed into something else; “Where is God right now?” “How do you work?” and ended me telling my kid to stop asking so many questions and shouting “I don’t know, okay!”

Finally Exhibit E: Caution Floor is Wet

image courtesy of sinoconcept.com

Well obviously this tells you that there is going to be a dance party in a tiny house! Cue the Delight!