Archive | September, 2013

Why You Shouldn’t Get Your Kid a Cell Phone

20 Sep

A great explanation to why you should not get your kid a cell phone by Louis C.K. Not to mention you teenager might post photos of themselves getting wasted or wearing something that makes you blush. He also sheds light on why everyone is texting and driving that makes perfect sense.


One more reason to LOVE Amy Poehler!!!!

17 Sep

Can this woman do no wrong?

Not only is she BFFs with my personal hero (Tina Fey), she is a proud Feminist, funny as hell and now she has a YouTube page that features women who have great jobs along with other inspirational snippets for young girls.

Her Smart Girls YouTube page features little videos (like the one above) with music performances by young female performers, interviews with girls from around the world, an “Ask Amy” section where she answers questions about all kinds of topics (crying, stress, letting go, and of course parents). There’s even a “Boys’ Minute”. Check them all out and spread the word to every little girl, preteen, teen and mommy you know!.

What is a Preteen? Do I have one? Is it evil?

13 Sep

I have been living on the edge or living in denial or living in fear. Crap it might be a combination of all three. Most of all I have been asking myself over the past few weeks, which has become a colorful personal hell, if my child’s behavior is natural preteen behavior? Then that question is followed by well what is a preteen anyway?

Just calm down for a second!

Just calm down for a second!

Most articles, parenting books, marketing material for anti-psychotics, etc. say my child should not loose her mind until she is 10. According to my good friends at Merriam-Webster preadolescence is “the period of human development just preceding adolescence; specifically :  the period between the approximate ages of 9 and 12″. And Urban Dictionary says a Tween “is a girl ages about 9-14…too old for toys, but too young for boys.” (okay well what if she likes girls?) followed by “Very easy to market to, will usually follow any fashion trend set for them, will most likely go through the phase of ‘finding themselves’ as they ‘grow up.” And if you ask Peggy Orenstein it is a made up term by marketers in the 1980s, while interesting it doesn’t really help me for this situation so it gets filed away under the MMMMM, that’s interesting file.


Well that’s no help this kid is not 9 yet, crap she just turned 8. She is a wonderful and beautiful little girl who is curious and astoundingly loving one minute, then I turn my back for a second and she is rolling her eyes at me and muttering under her breath.  There is the back talk, the freaking out about the littlest things at the drop of the hat, and the meltdowns/tantrums that have my PTSD from the toddler years acting up again.

Recently the mood swings got so intense they have been driving me to watch Mommy Dearest clips in the middle of the night to remind myself that I am actually a great mom.

So what happened, how did it get to be like this?

I first blame the Disney Channel, secondly the milk we have been drinking (damn hormones), and third I place full blame on my child’s brain and the massive amount of growth that is happening up there. Recently I watched a TED Talk on the teenage brain by Adriana Galavan, which not only made me feel smarter but put things into perspective fore me.

Sure the kid is only 8-years-old, but she is still growing and I have no idea what is going on in that brain of her’s. And really it comes down to that most of what is going on up there are massive exaggeration

woman-cryings of little things. The best part this is only going to get worse as she reaches into high school.

So while my daughter may not be considered a tween/preteen just yet, she is well on her way and it is about time that I pull my resources together and prepare for the all out war that is going to take place in my home.

My first step to gaining back my sanity was to take a refresher course in breathing. Not only is it good for me to remind myself that I need to take a breath before I start yelling (otherwise you pass out) but to also not lash out in anger or frustration just because this little person might have hurt my feelings. Next step is to tell her to do the same thing, sure it is met with more eye rolling and maybe a slammed door, but I have put it out there and I didn’t turn into Joan Crawford nor did I pass out.

If that doesn’t work I plan to just let the chips fall where they may. Someone told me long ago that you can’t talk to crazy, and boy to I have no plan to when my kid has surely lost her mind.

And once the storm has subsided I have begun to take time to check in with myself (Yes, Wilson we did it. We survived) and then check in with my not-yet-preteen. These outbursts are exhausting and she needs to know that I love her even if she pushes me toward the edge.

So to all the parents of not-yet-preteens out there, stay strong. Labels and age ranges are just confusing. It’s only gonna get worse (well that’s if you read all the horror stories out there about middle school). No really middle school isn’t all bad (I have lived through that one and I must say this is worse). And if you haven’t told yourself you are going a great job – I will. You rock! Now go watch Faye Dunaway turn into an evil Joan Crawford right before you eyes.

Tooth Fairy’s Digging a Financial Hole

3 Sep

The Tooth Fairy has finally given into keeping up with Jones. 

This should have been the headline last week when Visa, Inc. announced the update to their app, which found that the price of a tooth for most parents has soared to $4 a pop. With the announcement, it seamed like every news organization in the country from Associated Press to KQED had to profile some parents who gave examples of what they pay their kid when the loose a tooth. It all stems from this AP story where parents chime in with how much they are dolling out, ending with a mother actually admitting to shelling out a $100 bucks. And they are all doing it because some other parent chimed in and said they were giving their kid a certain amount. Never to be outdone, parents need the feel to top whatever price was suggested.


Dwayne Johnson in wings as the tooth fairy.

What is going on here? Isn’t there enough pressure to be a super parent without having to keep up with the Jones when it comes to your children’s teeth? Being the Tooth Fairy is a very intimate thing. It is a treasured rite of parenthood. I understand getting a gauge of what to put under your kid’s pillow when their first tooth gets wiggly, but you have check yourself on how high are you going to set that bar. 

I am the type of parent to keep the expectations low, so when I do decide to go bigger my kids take note. Like adding a piñata to a party. If you start off your kids birthday’s with a piñata, they and your other guests will expect one…EVERY FRIGGIN’ YEAR. So just like your kids party, placing $20 bucks under your kids pillow when they loose a tooth is only creating the expectation that the Tooth Fairy is going to crack open his/her wallet each time and put a twenty there. 

Can you afford this pressure? I know the app/articles said that the average price of a tooth is $4, but really do you have ones lying around your house like that? 

I have two kids and have learned over the years that it is good to explain magical creatures with a map. Listen kids we live in a county where the Tooth Fairy can only give a certain amount depending on what tooth is under the pillow. So what your buddies tell you on the school yard is not what you are going to get because they have a different zip code/apartment number/county address (fill in the blank). 

Often the Tooth Fairy hasn’t even left money, but things found around the house since her ATM card was stolen or she didn’t have time to go the bank or the neighbors didn’t have change for a $20. 

If the Tooth Fairy had to keep up with whatever rate the kid was getting up the street she would go broke. So media companies when you want to write a story about how much the price of a tooth is why don’t you do the math. Twenty teeth at $4 a pop, that’s $80, add in the now estimated $241,081 to raise a child (without college tuition) and I think the price is too high. 

Give your kid what ever loose change you can find in house and call it a night, they won’t judge you for it. The Tooth Fairy on the other-hand will be forever a cheap bastard.